Chapter 23 RR

Chapter 23 is about strategies for revising and editing our research paper.  A revision should be viewed as an opportunity to refine a paper and make its thesis clearer.  Only the most arrogant or talented person could believe they could produce a great finished product on the first attempt.  With a 10-12 pg research paper, the need for revision is abundantly clear.

This chapter explores the reasons for revision.

• Revise for audience -  We need to make our tone and word choice be appropriate for the audience we're writing to.
• Revising for Structure and Support - Sometimes the data might need to be rearranged to build towards a more logical progression.
• Revising for Emphasis, Conciseness, and Clarity - We do not always talk in the most efficient manner.  That last sentence could also be restated "We often speak inefficiently."  I said the same thing but used less words.  Less is more.

Finally, editing and proofreading are covered.  It's easy to miss a word when writing a paper because one says it in their mind, but forgets to type it.  Proofreading helps and especially if you can get someone else to proofread it, it would help even more.

Revision seems like a waste of time to many students, who are pressed for time, and who's papers are due at the end of the semester when final exams occur, which need to be studied for.  Because of this, revision can take a back seat to other things.  Having just written a 10 page paper, the last thing a student wants to do is to have to go back and edit it.  Even in the professional world, there are writers and their are editors.  Unfortunately, at the student level, we do not have the luxury of an editor who will take our papers and make them better for us.  We must edit our own work and revise it as needed and this chapter will help us do so.

Source

Dustan S

Chapters 30 & 32 RR

Before we begin a research paper, we need to do two things: find sources and plan the project.  Chapter 30 is about planning research and Chapter 32 is about finding sources.

Source

Chapter 30 shows how to turn a topic into a question.  You start with a broad overview, refine it to a topic, and finally develop a specific question.  From that question, you need to determine if it is too broad.  If so, then you narrow it down, but if it becomes too narrow, then you have to broaden it a little.  When questions become too narrow, they become uninteresting because the reader would need to be interested in that very specific topic.  This chapter also talks about how to effectively use search engines and what keywords to use.

No longer are we restricted to just the books in a local library when researching a paper, the internet has broadened our reach, so knowing where to find sources is key.  Chapter 32 is all about that topic and starts out by looking at how to search the internet.  Beyond simple searches you can do through Google, there are peer-reviewed journals that can be queried.

Of course, there is the age old source for research data, the library.  Since libraries contain a wealth of information, one needs to know how to search for the info they need.  This chapter shows how to search a library database as well as describing the various types of resources available in library like encyclopedias, government documents, and bibliographies.

Finally, Chapter 32 discusses field sources such as interviews, observations and questionnaires.  For my paper, this is helpful because I've witnessed some of the things that I'm writing about.  I know how it made me feel and my own thoughts on the subject and I don't have to rely on someone else asking the right question to the right person.

Overall, both chapters would help writers write better papers.  In this day and age, we are all used to using Google to search for something we are interested in, but we need to discern which sources are scholarly and which are not.  There are also some things in the library that I wasn't aware of like bibliographies.  Those kinds of resources can give an idea of where to begin looking for sources for our research paper.

Dustan S

Chapter 35 RR

Chapter 35 is a short chapter that discusses how to write a research paper.  It's helpful since a large portion of our grade depends on our research paper, so we need to learn how to write one correctly.

There are two ways to start a paper, the Thesis Method and the Answer Method.  The Thesis Method begins with a plan and thesis, building supporting points to make your point clear.  This is the way we are being taught how to write the paper.  The second method is the Answer Method.  It lets you just jump in and start writing.  You'll line up evidence and discover your point as you go.  This method requires more revising.  I like a plan, so the first method seems better to me.

The rest of the chapter talks about how to begin, end, and edit your paper.  It says "you might start out slowly with a clear account of an event to draw your readers into the paper."  I don't know if that's great advice though, because if you don't start out strongly, the reader might get bored and not even finish reading.

Source

Dustan S

3 best success of my paper

My success on research paper is my introduction. In my introduction I talk about the responsibility of an animal, law and who are being affected by this act. It is my most successful paragraph in my research paper. After my successful introduction paragraph, my body paragraph is the most successful because In my body paragraph I touch on dogs, cats, orcas, and other animals that are being used for sports and entertainment. Lastly my most success on my paper would be the MLA origination because I learned the MLA format from my English 122 class book.

Nirakaran B. Malla

3 best successes

 After receiving my research paper back I noticed that this time I did a pretty good job with my work citations page, it's in correct format, it's in alphabetical order and it's the correct amount of citations needed. Another good thing about my research paper was my introduction, my thesis is clear and my audience is able to find my F.P. The last success of my research paper is that I am now using in text citations correctly. I still need to improve in all these areas but, they are a lot better now compared to my first essays.


-Yazmin Olvera

3 Things Jenn Will Like

My research paper is about the Flint Water Crisis.  I'm going to examine the socioeconomic history of Flint and see how this developed and what's in store for the future.  The three things that I think she will like are:

1) The Title - "Water we going to do about Flint's water?"
This is a play on words where I'm substituting "Water" for "What are" because they sound similar when you say them out loud.  Jenn is a writer and I think she appreciates puns or clever use of words, so she will like the title.

2) First Hand Info
I've worked in the water purification industry for 10 years and as part of my job, I get to travel to our locations all across the country.  They are typically in poor places with terrible tap water.  Some places have water that comes out of the tap like tea or smells like sewage.  Flint generates the headlines, but there are other places like it that also have terrible tap water, and having seen it first-hand, I should be able to give witness to the conditions there.

3) Details about the health effects on children
I don't know for sure that Jenn loves children, but the fact that they are innocent and trusting and the effects of lead-poisoning are more pronounced on kids is heartbreaking.  The story has been in the headlines, so maybe she has some curiosity about the topic already.

Source

Dustan S

Chapter 35 Response

In this chapter they teach methods on writing and drafting a research paper. They also give advise on using your sources to support your ideas. For example, to write a thesis their method is to start with putting together all the information you found in one sentence. It is also the main point or argument that is the basis of your paper. Revising and editing section stood out the most because I have hard time changing the sentences because it changes the meaning of the sentence in two different ways but in this section  their advise is to organization, strengthen your evidence and if that does not work then drop a section and add a new one. This was helpful and I will use this method on my research paper.

Nirakaran B. Malla

Chapter 23

In this chapter the author focuses on the revising part of writing an essay. The thing that stood out to me the most was that you can revise at any point of your writing. While growing up and going to school teachers always tell you to write your first draft and THEN you can scribble all over it and revise it. When in reality you revise all the time. When you think of an idea and think of it in many different ways you are already revising that thought. What was helpful was that you can start off with just revising your thesis and making sure you are getting to the freaking point. After revising your thesis you can revise one sentence at a time until you have revised your essay as a whole. The revision checklist makes sure you ask yourself the important questions and are able to answer your research question clearly.
-Yazmin olvera

Chapter 35

While reading this chapter, helpful tips from chapters 30 & 32 come back to mind.
This chapter focuses on the whole idea of writing the research paper, from thinking of a topic, to looking for the research information, coming up with an answer, and putting it all together and organized in one essay. Again, the checklists for revising and proof reading your essay are always extremely helpful when I apply them to my own writing.
This chapter was just another refresher to what we read in chapter 30 and 32.

-Yazmin olvera

Chapter 30 & 32

In chapter 30 what stuck out to me the most was that the author included steps you should take when having to write a research paper. I thought a research paper was like any other essay assignment just with more work to do with it, but the steps were very helpful! The steps make sure you stay organized and finish everything on time. One thing that surprised me was that the author tells you to take a stand on your topic and do research that backs up your stand, I had in mind that with a research paper you must always have unbiased information. This chapter helped a lot while working on my own research paper through the planing and organizing stage.
In chapter 32 the author refreshed our minds by pointing out how to do research using websites, and trying to find information in a book at the library. The tips that always help me with my own writing with these chapters are always the checklists the author provides.

-Yazmin olvera

Reading Assingment Chapter 30 & 32

Chapter 30 is about writing a research paper. In this chapter there is a process which will help you on your research paper and it also help to choose the right research topic. First step starts with engage by exploring the topic. Second step is Inquire where you research and state your question. Third step is organize, fourth step is investigate; fifth step is research and the 6th step is Synthesize. These are the process on writing a research paper. From this chapter the process of writing a research paper was intriguing.
Similar to chapter 30, In chapter 31 they guide you on finding sources. When finding sources, it is always a good idea to use search engines that is provided by school because it superior and accurate on finding information about the topic you research on. For example, my school provides ESBCO. I used this when I want to find information about the topic I want to research on so that I can use in my paper for support/ evidence. First chapter helps you with your research process while the second chapter teaches about using sources to make your essay stronger.
Nirakaran B. Malla

Outline for research paper

Introduction

Immigration needs to be reformed for illegal immigrants that are already living in the United States.

Those already in the United States have built their entire lives here and for most cases the only law they have broken is coming in or staying illegally.


Stay united with their families


Get a proper education and health care


Keep their jobs


Younger workforce


Boost the nation’s economy

Body paragraphs

Stay united with their families

Topic sentence: 1 in every 4 children in the United States today live with undocumented parents or guardians.

18.4 million Children are living in fear of being separated from their loved ones due to deportations.




1. In 2014 there were 315,943 deportations. That is 315,943 families being torn apart and devastated. (http://www.statisticbrain.com/number-of-u-s-deportations/)

Get a proper education and health care

Topic sentence: The absence of a social security number prevents illegal immigrants from getting proper health care.

1. Every individual trying to buy health insurance needs to present a SSN, without a SSN an individual is not able to purchase a major medical insurance. (http://www.bernardhealth.com/woofstreetjournal/bid/199561/Need-healthcare-but-don-t-have-a-social-security-number)


Unable to apply for any government assistance like Medicaid, Medicare, food stamps, etc..

Keep their jobs

Topic sentence: Those who have come in illegally or have stayed illegally in the United States have built their entire lives here, including the jobs they obtain.

1. In 2010, 41.5% of the workforce in the United States was held by foreign-born people. But that is the majority of labor work jobs. (http://www.brookings.edu/research/papers/2012/03/15-immigrant-workers-singer)


Most immigrants say they come to the United States to provide a better living for their families. By keeping their jobs the illegal immigrants would be able to keep providing for their families.

Younger workforce

Topic sentence: 　The population pyramid in the United States is slightly unbalanced. Having the larger portion of population in the age ranges of 20-24 years old.

1. In the future the ratio of the people in the retirement stage of their lives compared to the people young enough to be in the workforce is going to increase creating problems with social security benefits. (http://benefitof.net/benefits-of-immigration/)

2. Technology is now taking over most old fashioned methods, making young people highly qualified for most jobs. Younger people have grown up with technology around them and have not had to adapt to it like older generations due to the fact that they were born around the same era as technology was.

E. Boost the nation’s economy

Topic sentence: --------

1. Having more people means there are going to be people with high education backgrounds and those with lower education backgrounds dividing jobs like cooks, architects, and accountants with those with higher education backgrounds. And food preps, construction workers, and housekeepers with those with lower education backgrounds. Creating more jobs. 　(http://clas.berkeley.edu/research/immigration-economic-benefits-immigration)




2. Immigrants are 30% more likely to start a small business here in the United States than citizens. Small business like restaurants, creating more jobs and contributing to the economy. (https://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2012/07/12/ten-ways-immigrants-help-build-and-strengthen-our-economy) 　　　

III. Conclusion

Immigration needs to be reformed for illegal immigrants that are already living in the United States in order for them to continue the lives they have worked hard to build for the past couple of years.

　　　

-Yazmin Olvera

LSD.

MDMA.

Psilocybin.

These three compounds undoubtedly evoke some kind of emotion when read. More often than not, that response is negative and subjective. Perhaps this is in response to the deliberate and widespread case of classical conditioning that started in the late 1980’s and endowed to the American youth by our government. Or, maybe the Urban Legends that surround these substances had a lasting impact. Regardless of why you think the way you do, we shouldn't continue to gobble up the anti-drug rhetoric and accept the “just say no” model so blindly. Instead, compounds such as LSD, MDMA, and Psilocybin should be given an objective and academic opportunity to pursue medicinal legitimacy. Fear of the unknown can no longer be an accepted response. Instead, acceptance of the exploratory nature of these compounds can allow for open and honest psychotherapy sessions. As well, they hold a vast potentiality to garnish tangible responses for those afflicted by PTSD, end of life sufferers, the socially anxious, addicts of all kinds, and even in couples therapy. Also, if accepted by society (as well as legislatures), will the Veteran’s Administration (they treat the lion's share of PTSD patients in America) adopt this therapeutic model?

WHY?

The reasons why we think the way we do about LSD, MDMA, and Psilocybin are to be questioned in the essay as well. Whether it was War on Drugs legislature, confusing commercials with broken eggs,or even just second or third hand anecdotes. The reason why is because the American society was force fed an anti-drug perception. These compounds are now proven to be potentially very useful both medically and therapeutically.

WHY NOT?

This is a topic that should live in the grey area, not camp on the black side with the “drop outs”, or sitting on the white side throwing judgments at anyone in opposition. With institutions such as the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies leading the way, or even work done by outlying Ethnobotanists such as the McKenna brothers, these compounds should not always carry an obligatory “illicit” connotation. Long term placebo controlled double blind studies have been conducted, and have concluded that these compounds can indeed alleviate suffering for PTSD patients, those struggling with the end of life process, anxiety sufferers, and couples going through some sort of rough patch.

Psychopharmacology.

Ethnopharmacology.

Psychotherapy.

These are the vehicles the 3 substances can be utilized through to lead them down the path to societal acceptance and medical legitimacy. Like succeeding in any ambitious endeavor, the devil is in the details. That being said, the biggest hurdle will be the restructuring of how everyday Americans view LSD, MDMA, and Psilocybin.

-DL Bell

Research

Animal Cruelty

Intro- Animal cruelty is when someone hurts an animal or does not care for an animal responsibility, like not giving a dog or cat food and water. It is against the law to be cruel to or harm animals, even your own pets. It's also called animal abuse.

Thesis- Animal cruelty is affecting animals and humans while animals are getting hurt physically while we are being hurt physically.

Body paragraph- I am using the information about the criminal underground world of dogs fighting for first paragraph. This paragraph going to cover how they are raised and the drugs they are given for the fight. 

Support- They are raised in complete isolation and spend most of their lives on short heavy chains. They are also given steroids to increase muscle mass for fighting and making them aggressive. I will add more information about other animals that are being abuse on my rough draft. 

2nd paragraph- In this paragraph I will answer to question; who abuses animals, other animals and where is this event taking place in the world and how are they treating the animals. 

Support- The animals that are most common by their statistics are dogs, cats, horses and rooster.“The U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency has prosecuted multiple cases where drug cartels were running narcotics through cockfighting and dog fighting operations. In 2014, federal agents found that international drug dealers had congregated at a Kentucky cockfighting pit and even sent a hit man to target a local cockfight.”

3rd body paragraph-In this paragraph I am going to talk about the affect animal cruelty has over family. In this source I found that animal abuse affects both animal and humans. 

Support- Professor Frank Ascione of the University Of Denver Graduate School Of Social Work says, “The research is pretty clear that there are connections between animal abuse and domestic violence and child abuse.”(13)

Restate thesis/ Conclusion - Animal cruelty is not only affecting animals but also humans because of their behavior towards animal, their children will learn and pick up their parents action which is affecting them and their future. 

Nirakaran B. Malla

Chapter 12 RR

Source

They say that a house is only as good as it's foundation.  It doesn't make sense to build a magnificent house on a poor foundation.

Similarly, a position paper needs strong supporting sources in order to give the paper credibility.  A research paper takes the reader through an analytical journey that starts with a point, examines the counterpoint, and goes through a logical presentation of points that support the thesis statement and derive from credible sources.


Chapter 12 shows us how to take a source and integrate its idea into our paper.  We do not want to plagiarize information, but we do want to quote or paraphrase source data.  This chapter teaches us how to do that by "learning by writing."  For example, on pgs 236-237, it presents an excerpt from a source text and shows how to properly quote it.  They show an example of too much quotation and the proper amount.

I like the way this chapter presents the info because in other textbooks, they tell you how to do something, but don't provide useful examples.  There are plenty of visual examples, so a student writer could improve a lot if they followed their advice.  This class is centered around being able to properly produce a well-researched and documented research paper, so the skills taught in chapter 12 should help throughout a person's career.

Dustan S

Chapter 12

In chapter 12 it talks about supporting a position with sources. When reading chapter 12, learning from other writers was not very helpful for myself because last time when I read their essays, it only made me confusing about their format and their point of view. However, the section about citing your work cited gave me examples on citing sources and the sources should be in alphabetical order. which I will be using in my future essays. Another section about supporting my position with sources gives ideas on how to use my sources to my advantage. I found this helpful and will use in future essays. Chapter 12 takes you into another level of supporting your position with sources and citing your sources. 

Nirakaran B. Malla 

Intro to Prospectus

                                                     War On Drugs 

I would like to research and write about War on Drugs. 

Drugs have dragged down people from their potentials. It is something I am interested in and want to write my point on view on. 

Drugs have caused many people to loose their life and their loved one's because their addiction for this chemical. 

Nirakaran B. Malla

Clean Water

     The recent crisis in Flint, MI with lead in their water has brought the safety of public water to the nation's attention.  However, I work in the water purification industry and I know that Flint's water is not an isolated problem in our country.  I know that my company would like to jump in to help them out by supplying clean drinking water, but we've been unable to do so because of all of the permitting and bureaucratic paperwork that any company would need to go through to open a business that is selling a food product.  I would love to know more about the Flint situation and what is really needed to start selling clean drinking water there.  Here's my cluster diagram:

Dustan S

 One of the topics I would like to write about for the research paper is immigration reform.
This topic has impacted my life in many ways and it's something I am very passionate about. I would love to learn more about the issue and provide the knowledge I already learned in the past throughout this paper.
My potential thesis statement is;
Immigration has been a "hot topic" for years now, and it's an issue that needs to be addressed and changed.
-Yazmin Olvera